Temporairly Insane

                Many things require trial and error. Like a math problem. Maybe a + b = c, but what are the number that fill in a and b? And how do they make c?  If you think about it, love is like an equation. You + him/her = love, complicated because you have to keep guessing who might fit in the him/her category.  I guess you might stop looking and give up for a moment, but if you do give up will you get an “F” in love like you would get on your math homework? Just my theory, but if you did give up looking being lonely would equal and “F” in some ways.

Scotti<3

 A pain run through my chest and I feel like I am about to fall over from the pain of being alone. Even though I a surrounded by friends that are laughing and playing I feel excluded. Emily leans forward in her seat and whispers into my ear, “What is wrong?” I shake my head and pull my backpack to my chest as the bus lurches forward into another daring curve in the road. “Honey, what’s wrong?” she smiles and looks me straight in the eyes. I turn away. And mutter under my breath, “Nothing.” Her fingers run through my hair as she asks the simple question again. “Sam, what’s wrong?” Tear form around my eyes and I can’t seems to keep it inside any longer. “I’m alone. You have Rob, Linda has Louie, Erin has Zack and I have nobody. Nothing. Zip. Nada.” Tear run down my face. They really aren’t clear tears – more a pale skin color from my cover-up. My heart seems to stop as she eyes me. “Don’t worry. You’ll have somebody. I promise.” The promise seems to bring a beat back into my heart and dries the tears from my eyes.  Her words seem to take control of the situation and even though I am still lonely I still have hope. Sometimes, you don’t need somebody to complete you. A significant other can bring problems and drama and right now, I don’t need that. I still want somebody, but when it’s right you know. It won’t be just anybody it will be your somebody. Scotti <3

My eyes drop and my cheeks turn a deep pink color. I feel the blood rush into my head and I feel like I am going to fall over. The only thing holding me up? My dance partner. The one that had just mashed his lips against mine. My heart flutters and I feel normal again. After my last kiss, I thought I would never be able to deal with a boy trying to put his tounge down my throat, but I was fine now. His eyes looked me up and down and I leaned my head against his sholder and the song changed into a fast beat - Welcome to the Jungle by Guns-N-Roses.   The boy grabbed my hands and we started to dance.

“I have to pee.” He said and his hands drop from mine. His friend’s drop their dance partners too and head to the bathroom with him.

“Wait there,” he yells and I do. I wait for two songs, by the boy doesn’t return so I leave. And even though I saw him two more times that night and i have seen him four times at school, he hasn’t said a word about our kiss. He hit the child crossing the street with his Dodge Ram and continued on. Never looking back to see if the little girl he hit was okay.

Maybe she’ll never recover. Or maybe she will, who knows? People break and they heal - no matter what body part is snapped in half.

Scotti<3