^_^Chii=^.^=~.:cOnFuSiNg?:. Where is the floating soul?~.~

Techno

High based life

Simple things

Color red

Smile like you mean it

The greatest thing you’ll ever learn is just to love and be loved in return.

How do you make love stay?

If it’s so great, then how is it kept?

Paint splattered life

Going from east to south

Opposites attract

Ying to my yang

Sleep with your eyes wide shut

Let go of your insides and let the colors spread

Dream on

You’re sleeping with the lights on

Awkward glances

Pitiful smiles

Paranormal lives

Night stalker

Dream on

Try to run away

But you’ll never let me go

Your heart is heavy

Protect my heart

I’ve left it with you

Hard to cry when your smile warms the corners of my heart

Thump

Breath

Thump

Breath

Losing sight

Don’t look back now

Dream on lover 

Up and down

You spin my around 

Paint splattered life

Easy going eyes

Pitiful smiles

Rosy cheeks

Wrinkled nose

Cute

Crying on the inside

Jump to your own tune

Mask your lies

Decoding your cheeky smile

Screaming I love you

Over and over

Cramming

Slamming

How can I decide what’s right

When you’re clouding up my mind    

The end

Rewind

Start your show

Is it everything you wanted?

Is it everything you imagined it would be?

Or better

Pause

Favorite seen

Watching your life play on the big screen

Just graduated kindergarten

Such accomplishment is shown on your face

You were proud that day

Play

Singing, dancing, playing with friends

You grow old and tired

Pause

Marriage is beautiful

Play

Hold his hand

Live the day

Pause

Birth of your child

Bliss of your young

Play

Old age

Birthdays

Lights out

Time for something new

Pause

Do you want to see the end?

It’s not as good as you think

Ok, if you insist

Play

Wrinkled skin

Liver spots

His skin ages but his eye’s show the youth he still feels

The same guy you fell in love with

Look in the mirror

You look like grandma did

White hair

Sagging skin

Pale skin

Life lived well

Things will get easier now

The pain with subside

Let the white light envelop you

Shhh!

It’s ok

He holds your hand and enters the whiteness with you

Don’t worry your children will be fine

Your eyes are filled with the truth of your lies

Is that what you face looks like when the sky cries?

Hiding behind the dark shadows of regret

Lost in your lies that you seem to forget

Is everything so easy when the truth is hiding there under your skin?

Do things come out that much easier when things are hiding?

Your face says confusion but your skin tells the tale

Trace your palm

Find your life

The way it should be

Long line of life

A crack in the line

You lost a love

Continue down that path…..wait! You found “her”.

Her life line is short

She dies on the hospital bed birthing your child

You lose sight

Back to the beginning

The cycle of life

What becomes of your lies?

What becomes of the lying child that you now hold?

Does the child see your faults?

Do you make him fix them? Or live with them?

Look at his life line

Oh no!

He will live like you

Breaks in his life line

You cover his palm trying to take away the life ahead of him

To late his life is set in stone

Wish for the best

Know he will be happy for parts of his life

The only benefit

You will be with him forever

Immortality has its upsides

Envy your child

He will get to see the light of day while you hide inside, under your dirt and cobwebs

Half human have immortal

Thank his mother

Thank your need for the women

 Hope to the Gods his immortal life is a bit better than yours

Your fault

You let him strip

Now he’s on the floor

Crying for help

Will you ever be able to help anyone ever again?

Have your eyes been so clouded over with lies

That you forgot how to help?

Realization hits his boyish face

Life isn’t as innocent as he once thought it was

Corrupted

Impure

Thank your father child

He failed as your parental figure

You figured out at an early age that life is a lie

Get used to it

Things get worse from here

At the young age of ten

Scribbling profanity on bathroom stales

Is this what your life will consist of?

Scribbling your thoughts down on something that means nothing to you?

Don’t worry kid

No one judges children

Wait till your seventeen

Your life will begin to spiral downward

Say hi to mom

She watches you now

Dads gone into denial

He’s been trying to off himself

Immortality makes you sick

 Get used to it kids

It’s the cycle of life     

Your eyes which first held me captivated where I stood

Your smile to dazzle the sun and warm every corner of my soul

Your voice like a sparkling mountain stream which flows into my heart

Your walk and the way your gracefulness takes my breath away

Your hair about which I dreamed cascading into my face as you leaned over me

Your hands whose caress I crave to hold my face in their tenderness

Your arms I long to have around my neck as you pull me close to your warmth

Most of all everything you are changed the way I feel about my life

I love you…

Eyes are on fire

And filled with desire

Lost in the truth of tomorrow 

Eyes are on fire

Lost in the hour

I can’t find the answers for tomorrow

I’m lost without your pain

But you’re still waiting in vain

How can I sooth your pain

I’m scared without your power

Wish I had a strain

I’ve got nothing for you to gain

Shoveling through the corpses of yesterday

You’ll be waiting in vain

I’ve got nothing for you to gain

Eyes on fire

And so full of rage

Falling forward onto your face

But then you emerge with such grace

Building up your desire

I will sooth your pain

I won’t ease you strain

I’ve got nothing for you to gain

Eyes on fire

Your spin is so gray

And just in time in the right place

Sillely emerging in the right place

Eyes gone quiet

And left in their place

No one wants to be with the plague

You’re stuck with that face

Falling forward with grace

How can you be an optimist when you’re so pessimistic?

How can you be alive when you’re so dead?

How can you be sane when you’re so insane?

How can you be red when you’re so blue?

How can you care when you obviously don’t care?

How can you see without opening your eyes?

How can you really live if you’re stuck inside your own world?

How can you be so mature when you’re still a child?

How can you be you when you’re obviously someone you’re not?

How can you hide when there’s danger?

How can you be at ease when I’m going stressing out?

How can I love someone so inconsiderate when he has forgotten how to love?

How am I supposed to live with someone like you?

How am I supposed to care for someone that doesn’t care for me?

How can you breathe when I’m not there?

Is this what I get when I let my heart win?

What do you get out of it?

How do you think, act, or sleep when I’m not there?

Are you even alive?

 I am something I’m not

I wonder about how life shoud have been

I hear the lies that come out of phony people’s mouths

I see nothing because I am blind to the truth

I want to be a child again

I am something I’m not

I pretend to act dumb

I feel ignorant at times

I touch my hair

I worry over my loved ones safety

I cry when no one is around

I am something I’m not

I understand nothing and everything

I say I’m illiterate, but I can read

I dream about better times or times I want to experience

I try to do my best

I hope for a better future

I am something I’m not, but I understand it.

I love those who care for me

I hate people that oppose me

I hide what I really am

I care about things beyond my own realm

I act like a child when I know I’m not one anymore

I imagine things getting better for me

I color my life red

I am someone that I know I’m not, but I’m proud of it.

How do I know what’s right when you’re always clouding up my mind?

It’s hard for me to concentrate and process anything remotely sane.

How did we get here?

I used to know everything about you.

Even if it killed me.

You make it hard for me to breath.

But you make my blood boil when I see that the truth is hiding in your eyes.

How did we get here?

I used to know you so well.

I’m starting to think I know.

How can you see what kind of man that you have become?

You’ve gone and made such a fool of yourself.

How did we get here?

I’m losing controlI’m not sure anymore.

There is a man inside you that you aren’t very sure of

Just come close and be yourself.

How did we get here?

How could you hide such lies?

I’m losing control.

And you’re falling down into a downward spiral of regret.

No one else sees what you have become, because they are blind to your work.

You even think that I don’t see.

Why can’t you see the kind of man that you have become?

I desperately want you to see, to try and understand.

That I really do love you.

I want the man that I first fell in love with back.

 I miss him.

How did we get here?    

What if there was never an ending to every beginning?

What if we were never born at all?

What if my mother never had me?

What if music never went the way that it has?

What if I wasn’t exposed to the things that I was when I was little?

What if things were different?

What if I didn’t think the way that I do now?

What if things that aren’t real became true?

What if I wasn’t so childish?

What if someone cared?

What if love didn’t hurt so much?

What if we didn’t have emotions?

What if everything was easy?

What if everybody gave up?

What if everything was a lie?

What if things were better?

What if there was no war and hate?

What if living was simple?

What if we understood everything?

What if we could see through everything that is a lie?

What if music was the answer to everything?

What if people were nice?

What if every note out of an instrument was a word?

What if we didn’t have to wear masks to hide from danger?

What if there was no danger?

What if everybody had compassion?

What if every day was happy?

What if there were not cartoons when we were little?

What if wishing was hard?

What if your eyes changed with your mood?

What if everybody was the same?

What if you lived the way you dreamed?

What if your life was a fantasy and you’re living it for somebody else?

What if you didn’t day dream?

What if you didn’t have an imagination?

What if everybody wasn’t creative?

What if when you die in your dream you die in real life?

What if myths came true only for you?

What if there wasn’t humor?

What if there wasn’t TV, or any form of entertainment?

What if night was day and day was night?

What if you couldn’t love?

What if you were living your own lie?

What if we restored our innocence?

What if we never had a home?

What if there was truth to every lie?

What if we were given a second chance?

What if we were all optimistic?

What if we were optimistically pessimistic?

What if you could run away from everything?

What if you spoke your mind?

What if you could delete everything that you have seen and had done to you?

What if you couldn’t run away from pain?

What if there wasn’t religion of any kind?

What if there wasn’t texture to anything?

What if nothing broke?

What if…?

 BEWARE, THIS HAS RUDE LANGUAGE IN IT!

How it is that something so nice can become so cruel? When all you ever do is try your best to make everything just right for them. They always expect more. I understand that it’s just human nature to do it that way. But come on, every single time. I try to write something that’s even moderately good, and I still get it shoved back in my face that it wasn’t good enough for them. That it wasn’t up to their standards. I can’t help it if my mind works differently then there’s does. To me their brain is the one that is messed up and needs to be checked. There is nothing wrong with me and the way that I think. Some people are just pompous assholes, that can’t get it through there damn head that everything doesn’t have to go the way that they want it to all the time. The world doesn’t revolve around there damn ass. If they actually learned to open there eyes and see that there is a world around them that is way more important than they are. Just get over yourself; you may be the boss of one job. But when put into the real world, your nothing. You’re just a pon that is being played in this big game of chess. You’re nothing more than a warrior that the Gods use to get there Queen safely guarded. I do things for a reason, and having someone tell me that they are better than me in such few words just shows me that they really think too much of their self. Why is it that people cast out the person that is the most different than others? Are they afraid that that person may be able to change the methods of their ways? When in fact the more different a person is the more likely that person is to be able to change that method for the good. I mostly ramble on about nothing that makes no sense and nobody will give a shit about. I get the feeling that when I am told to write, I’m just writing to humor someone. That my writing means nothing, and it’s all just for some stupid grade. That what I write is just words on paper, something to show the worth of my time spent in class. That’s all my writing is and that’s all it will ever be in this school. No one takes into act the skill of someone’s writing or the worth of it. They only see it as some damn grade that goes into a grading book and makes the school look good when they are checked for how good they are teaching their students. I am just a puzzle pieces that was made to be fit into one slot on the puzzle of a whole. The school being this puzzle, is supposed to shape the pieces just right so they fit in in one slot. The only place that puzzle piece really fits in, is next to a bunch of its friends. The friends you make are the puzzle pieces that will stay with you, will connect with you, and make you feel like you belong. This “puzzle” is supposed to help. But how can a puzzle help a puzzle piece when the puzzle piece only fits in one place? My point is not meant to make people angry or anything rude of the sort. I’m just merely pointing out that, no one can shape a person just right to fit into the place they want that person at. The person themselves has to figure out everything on their own and make them self the best puzzle pieces that they can. Find the people that best connect with them and stick with them for as long as they can. The people that only really care about you are the people that love you for you. Not the fake people that say they love you, but then when you turn your back they talk shit about you. But I’ve learned not to give a shit about what other people say. They mean nothing to me, and if I don’t know them and they judge me on what I say or do. Then they mean nothing to me. Sure it may be important to some on what other people say about them, but when you have lived a life like mine. You will learn that life isn’t long enough for you to dwell on what someone says about what you said did, or what you look like. No matter what you do, there will always be those couple few people that will find something that they don’t like about you. You will never be good enough for a lot of people. But the only people that really matter are the people that know and love you for you.

Don’t worry while writing this i was stressed and neede something to vent about. everythings fine now. >.<

How many times have you watched me fall just to smile?

How many times have I cried and you laughed in denial?

What’s the use of it all if you’re going to spit everything back in my face in the end?

Forget it all

Your life is a lie, and never meant anything to me

So now you’re screaming at the top of your lungs

Hoping for someone to come

You have died in my eyes already

You may think that you can carve out your worth

But that has been lost

The scars in my eyes can tell someone a tail of your hate

The truths of your lies are no longer there

The longing I see play across your face for a new day will never come

You are bound to damnation

You don’t wear your heart on your sleeve

You wear it in your eyes

So prove to me that you are worth what you say you are.

But then you would just watch me fall over and over again, smiling with your smug smile

Laughing in denial

And I’ll just die inside